Ignacio, being a gigantic Mexican who speaks better English than anyone in the arena, gets a large section to himself. This fact facilitates the promo quite nicely.

'I recall the formative years of my career. I would be in a federation roughly this size, and night after night find no real threats. Smaller men never knew how to make enough of an impact to damage me, and larger men were all oafs with no grasp of how to do anything more complex than a bodyslam.'

In the ring, Earl the Friendly Trucker gives El Pricko Largo a bodyslam and a splash.

'It took entry into a more advanced federation like LCW before I encountered individuals capable of defeating me. Even then it took half a year before that happened. In that span I physically dominated men like Lex Laww, Harbinger, Rook Black, Mike Static, the men now known as Gravity and Messiah, and countless others of no value.'

Earl the Trucker is put in peril when Largo uses a sleeper. No, really, the sleeper still works in DSCW.

'In time my body broke down due to what I was putting into it. I lost my greatness for some time, as was evident in the first month of Mercury and the first month of my return. The man I was then could have been handily defeated by you, Inferno. Sadly for you that man is as far behind me as Apex.'

Earl fights out, but Largo cradles him and holds the tights for the win. The crowd acts like Largo just shot a baby with an AK-47.

'My ability has been unchained now that Sickness is gone. Witness how quickly I slaughtered Johnny Glamour; look at how thoroughly I crushed Aaron Axl. Even if I am no longer the pinnacle of human evolution, I am still on another plane from the likes of you.'

El Pricko Largo seeks to injure Earl with a (plastic) steel chair, but Ned the Trucker (see what I mean?) makes the save. The crowd acts like he just cured cancer.

'Naturally I will give you my full attention and my full effort. I have no more grand quests to complicate things; all I need to do is win the match, which against you is simplicity itself. There is no need for me to reveal my personal life to you because such is not warranted... but I will at least give you a measure of what you seek.

'You have mentioned how much you want to fight me. How you want to know what it is like to be my adversary. To take the slings and arrows, as it were, of my punishment. That and more I am happy to provide; however, do not expect to find things are as you imagine them to be.

'You are like any number of men I have dispatched throughout my career. Your pluck and your size are supposed to carry you to victory over the 'monster' known as Ignacio Seijas. I have heard that speech hundreds of times from the lambs about to cross the doorstep of the slaughterhouse, and it has never been true for those as wholly ordinary and commonplace as Inferno.'

Largo winds up being stretchered out after a (not very) deadly shot from the Truckers' Airhorn of Justice.

'Even if my greatness is faded, it still exists. You know nothing of greatness, and you never will. As such that 'something special' will forever remain a carrot dangling in front of your nose, urging you onward yet destined to belong to someone else.'

Fade to black.