The song begins to play. It is time for me to make the walk I’ve made countless times before. It’s time for me to once again do what I hate.

But, this time, there is no opponent waiting. At least that brings the feeling down a little.

As I make my journey, I make acknowledgement of no one. My mind focuses only on how I will try to convey my message. I cannot hear them. However, I can physically feel their reaction. If I were anyone else, my chest would swell with pride. But, I am me, so it does not.

Finally, after what seems to be an eternity, I make it to the ring. Now it is time for me to muddle through an attempt to explain my thoughts.

“Once again, my God-forsaken title makes me the target of those who would otherwise pay me no attention.

“Keith Summers, you seem to have a lot of pent up aggression, and most of it seems aimed at me. Why is it? Is it because I loath everything you strive for, and while you fail to achieve those goals, I’ve gained it all?

“I’ve put some thought into this, Keith, and I think it’s a sound theory. You actually want to be me. I’ve won and held on to the trophy that slipped through your fingers so many times. I have earned the one accomplishment you long for, yet I would rather not have it.

“You are branded ‘Pariah,’ he who is outcasted. Yet, for most all the time you’ve held that name, you’ve been a part of, and relied on, a group of peers willing to accept you; whereas I have supposedly risen to the top completely alone. Your name suits me more than it does you. I am the loner you wish you were, but I would do anything to have others involved in my life.

“And while you do all you can gain the admiration of those who watch you, their favor towards you fell short of what they had for me. You fight for their respect, but always loose it. I’ve gained it, I’ve held it, yet if given the opportunity, I would give it up.

“Keith, it seems that you want nothing more than to be Geoffrey Slate. I am he, and I hate every moment of it. But, sadly, you will never be me and I always will. I guess both of us are shit out of luck. However, I wish you luck on your quest to strip me of that which you think you so completely deserve.”

“However, there is someone ahead of you in line who wants to do the very same thing.

“Harbinger, you said that you hear something deep inside my voice. You said that you hear pain. I won’t deny it, you were quite right. Every time I have to compete on the level of a Mercury main-eventer, my soul dies just that much more. When I put someone else in physical pain, I put myself in mental pain. Your entire assertion was correct, save one small detail.

“What is that detail? You think I’m not capable of what you are. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. The guild I feel, the guilt that crushes my soul comes from the fact that I know that I’m capable of doing just as much, if not more, than you. Much like you, I can cripple a man in a million-and-one ways.

“The difference between us, Harbinger, is that you view it as a way to raise competition. As a way to better yourself and those around you at the same time. You have a very idealistic interpretation of having to paralyze opponents night-in and night-out. I view it for what it is: hurting people, causing pain, and creating misery. There’s not a single credible religious or otherwise philosophical paradigm that could classify what we do for a living as anything less than evil.

“All that limits me, Harbinger, is my want to minimize the pain of others and of myself. Because of that, I only do what is needed to win. If you attack me with the purpose of destroying my body, than in order to keep the pain felt by both of us as low as possible, I’ll have to do the same to you.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Herb. But, make no mistake, simply because I do not want to does not mean that I can’t, or that I won’t. If it did, my disgust for this sport would have been solved long ago; I would have already been crippled by now.”

And, with that, I lower the microphone down to the mat. While I’m walking away, I’m forced to wonder if I was capable of making anyone understand what it is that I wanted to say.

End.